February is almost over and I am currently home for a couple weeks before I am back to the Japans. It feels strange to be home, but it gives me a sense of familiarity I haven't felt in a while. On the day I was leaving Japan it was hard to process the fact that I was actually coming back to the US, I told a friend before leaving that it wouldn't feel real until I was there. Even on the flight over it seemed strange, but maybe that's due to the fact that there was a crazy woman on board. Maybe it was the fact that my plane had to stop in Anchorage for this woman to be arrested (article), or maybe it was the fact that I was exhausted because I hadn't slept the night before and I was now trying to sleep hunched over head resting on the tray table. My mom asked me if it felt like I had never left, I told her it felt like I had been gone for a while. In my mind that seemed true, but everything felt so natural it din't seem to be the case. Big cars everywhere, wide roads, large open spaces, no more of this cramped feeling. It felt good to be home, and now that I am on my way back to Japan I am both excited but also wish I didn't have to leave this sense of familiarity, this homely feeling behind. I was talking with a friend shortly before coming to the U.S. talking about this sense of home. My friend is from Kyrgyzstan and has been in Japan for more than 2 years now. I asked her if she missed home and she told me that it was ok. In that moment I felt as if I could relate, but at the same time I found that to be sad. At this point in my life the only thing I seem to be sure of is that I would like to travel around, see unfamiliar things, something that is sure to leave me feeling out of place. How can this truly be the place I want to be? I'm not sure, but then again when does one finally feel at home after leaving their first home, their parent's protection and comfort? Is it when they move out and find a new place? Is it that instantaneous? I'm not sure but hopefully as time goes on I'll be able to find little pieces of home around the world.
Tuesday I will be leaving New York for Tokyo, with literally no set plans. It is my hope to see many of Japan's big cities in the time that I have, about one month. In Tokyo I have sleeping arrangements as I will be staying with a friend, but after that who knows? Hotels, hostels, internet cafes, staying up all night? Well I expect an adventure, and Japan being a pretty safe place I'm not too worried about may or may not happen. It is my goal to update my blog from these various places so keep an eye for upcoming blogs.
